Knitted profanity seems quaint

If you’re offended by profanity, turn away now, Dear Reader. You have been warned. Enter at your own risk, and if you’re scandalized, don’t say I didn’t warn you. I’m making some How Cold Is It mittens. I think these things are hilarious and I’ve never actually made mittens for myself. With the NEVERENDING winter this year I thought I should make some.

fuck-2That’s the palm side. I’m using some Colinette Jitterbug in Elephant’s Daydream for the main color, and some Lotus Mimi in Red for the contrasting color.

fuckThat’s the side that shows to the world. The text will say “Cold as Fuck” when finished.

So far my only mod is to go down a needle size because I’m a loose knitter, and I’m adding a thumb gusset. Starting at Row 15 of the chart, I added an extra stitch before the end of round (EOR) and made mirrored M1R and M1L on either side of this stitch on the next row, and continued increasing on the outside of those gusset stitches until I reached 25, alternating colors.

There’s something delightful about knitted profanity. I grew up in a household where the f-bomb was commonplace, so blame my heathen upbringing, but I think these are funny as hell. I can’t wait to finish both so I can keep my hands warm and stylishly profane!

27 thoughts on “Knitted profanity seems quaint

  1. I love these! I’m trying to decide between these and the your mother ones,lol. I love the colors you picked, they’re gonna be awesome.

  2. The mitts are awesome. I showed them to two of my brothers. The older brother chuckled, the younger brother was disappointed to find out I wasn’t knitting him a pair…

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